Friday, 23 February 2018

Time For Me


As most of you will know I recently got back from an EPIC trip to Bali. I took myself off to a retreat for a week. ALL BY MYSELF.

I will admit to you now that a couple of weeks before I was due to depart I was overcome with anxiety about what was ahead. Should I really be travelling to the other side of the world on my own? Did I deserve to go on a retreat? Was I even in the headspace to do that? Have I worked hard enough to justify this? Will I let myself down? Will it change me for the better or the worse? Will I connect with people?

Well THANK GOODNESS I got on that plane and went. 

At the airport, my boyfriend dropped me off and after we said our goodbyes, I checked in and made my way through security it suddenly hit me.

THIS IS IT.

I plucked up the courage after pacing past Jamie's Bar five times - yes, you did read that right - FIVE times it took me to actually feel brave enough to go and sit with a glass of fizz on my own while I waited for my gate number. Sipping on my Elderflower Fizz I had a strange sense of calmness creep over me. This was something I hadn't felt in months - I think I had prepared myself for total mascara-running-down-the-face-meltdown!

Sitting there watching other passengers bustling about beneath me, I won't forget the calmness I felt in my body. It was like a fog had lifted from my eyes, my shoulders were lighter and my mind felt still and grateful. 'Thank You' my head told me. 'Thank you for making you do this.'

The 10 days that stretched out before me were just for me. It felt fresh, exciting and what I knew my mind, body and my heart and soul needed.

In that moment I felt free. Suddenly I wasn't controlled by the time on the clock, schedules, routines or work. I liked that feeling. I was liberated.

Why do we push ourselves to the bottom of the pile?

Why do we not allow ourselves time for true reflection? To forget responsibilities and just be. To really connect with ourselves.

We all get complacent I think. We all rush around life ticking off the next task or going to the next event in our diaries. We have moments of time for us in that bubble bath we prepare, the quick shopping trip we sneak in before the school run or the quiet night with a book.

But when do we really just have time for us? Time when we aren't distracted or interrupted?

We look forward to quality time (by this I mean an extended amount of time from a day to a few weeks or months) with loved ones and friends but ask yourself this; when was the last time you had quality time just for you?

For some, like me, it may be you've never had that before or perhaps you've tried to avoid it?

I really encourage you to book in that time.

Take yourself off for a week or a long weekend. If that's too much spend a day out walking in your favourite place, treat yourself to a pub lunch, take yourself off to the spa. Just you. Just be.

Allow yourself to be free. To be open. To fully embrace every single moment of time for you. Have time to reconnect with yourself. Take your journal and just write whatever comes to you. Get clear on you and where you are at with yourself. What changes do you want me make? What are you grateful for? What's next?

It will work wonders.

Your body will thank you. Your mind will thank you. And most of all your heart and soul will thank you.

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